I have been getting back into some pure NLP lately, rather than the more common Personal Development material. While I love the application side of knowledge, there is something about the theory that really excites me… I guess it is my hunger for greater understanding and my wanting to know all the potential applications of what I am learning.

Today: NLP Presuppositions. What is a presupposition I hear some of you wondering. Well it is simply a belief that is useful to adopt when studying and working with NLP techniques. They also have many possible applications in everyday life too! Let me highlight a few of the more common ones that I find really useful to incorporate into my beliefs.

1. The Map is not the Territory

The way I apply this belief is to remind myself to keep an open mind. If I understand that the way I perceive the world is incomplete, then I am likely to be far more patient and empathetic with anyone that I interact with. To really comprehend this, it is vital to look into meta-programmes in more depth as well as having an appreciation of how your values hierarchy can impact your decisions and actions. Recognise that these natural perception filters will affect the way you view the world and how you perceive your experiences.

2. You cannot NOT communicate

I really like this one because now, after lots of practice, I am finally quite good at it! If you remember in Casino Royale when Bond is playing cards, he looks for a giveaway sign that his opponent, the bad guy, is bluffing. There is always some signal, either in the way you use your body, voice or words, that will give you away. Maybe it is a twitch, perhaps your voice qualities change or you use slightly different words; whatever it is, there is always something that will identify any incongruence in what you are saying. This can be applied to all communication scenarios, but with poker taking off at the moment, more and more people are becoming interested in this!

3. The meaning of communication is the response you get

When I train sales people, I really emphasise this presupposition. Why? Well have you ever asked a question and had completely the wrong response? A lot of sales people will just brush past that mistake and move on without getting the required information. However, if you realise that you are fully in control of the responses your customer gives, all you need to do is change the way you are asking the question slightly. Example? Ok, well not sales related, but think about when you ask a child “do you have the time“. Do they give you the answer you want, or do they answer completely literally and reply “yes I do thank you“. Be aware of how you communicate and develop your linguistic flexibility to become more effective!

I think I will revisit this topic again soon as these beliefs are so useful, but if you try and take on too many then you may lose the effect. Try these on for size for a while and notice the effect it has on your relationships and communication! Success!

Wow… what a week! I have missed writing but have had some incredible experiences over the past 5 or 6 days.

Firstly I love teaching NLP and have so far been incredibly fortunate to teach it to some outstanding people who find themselves in a variety of situations! I am sure many of you know that sales and influence is one of my specialty areas. Well, this week I found myself working in a whole different location teaching NLP to a whole different type of salesperson!

When I was first asked to work with one of the dancers at Stringfellows… yes, that’s right… Stringfellows, I instantly looked forward to the challenge… as any man would!!! Then I realised that this is a completely different type of sales process than I had ever encountered!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, after two nights of research and one day of training, I can’t wait to find out what results are going to be achieved. Who knows where this will lead? I can tell you that there are plenty of people working at that club that need my help, so maybe a return is on the cards! (By the way, if you are reading Peter… nice club!)

What else??? Well of course, Tony was in town! Any of you who happened to be at the ExCel arena on Friday night will now know what it is like to experience a Firewalk with over 8,000 other people… OUTSTANDING! If you haven’t been to a Tony Robbins UPW Unleash the Power Within seminar, it is something that cannot be missed. Click here to find out more about it, and get yourself booked on to the next one!

I’ll leave you with this video of Tony Robbins talking about what he does for 20 minutes… something which normally takes 50 hours! Enjoy!

Zig Ziglar puts it like this:

You can have anything you want if you help enough other people get everything they want!

I guess that is why I enjoy networking so much. It’s a great opportunity to find out other people’s needs and requirements and see if you can help them accelerate their successes. Often, it’s just the different perspective of your own points of view that can unlock something in another person, allowing them to see the way more clearly. Other times, you just happen to have access to the very resource that person has been incessantly hunting for months, and a simple phone call can help create yet more drive for that individual.

Whilst some people may not do it for whatever reason they choose, my standpoint on networking has changed a little recently.

In fact, as a result of looking back over the last year, I came to the realisation that we are all given something unique; a gift, talent or skill, something that can help many other people. No it may be forgivable for you not to use that talent for yourself (why you would ever want to do that is beyond me but it is so often the case!), what is completely inexcusable is when you stop other people from being able to access it!

I was recently coaching a salesperson who wasn’t particularly enjoying cold calling (do any of us?) and who told me that he would really rather not do it. Now this guy provides a service that literally has the potential to save people’s lives economically, but because he got his fair share of rejection, his desire to pick up the phone was understandably diminished. When he started to realise the massive negative impact of his potential lack of action, he (albeit begrudgingly) picked up the phone!

The point I want you to realise is that you do not have the right to withhold your talents, abilities, contacts, passion, energy etc from those around you. You should take every opportunity to find out how you can add value to the lives of others around you, and thus by assisting in their success, you are almost guaranteeing your very own!

Don’t take my word for it; check the Bible! Jesus himself said that “the path to greatness is through service to the many” and the parable of the talents clearly says that if you do not use what you are given, it shall be taken from you!

What can you offer? Your challenge is to find out the needs and requirements of those around you and offer to help them before you ask for help yourself. This is not to say that you should refuse assistance, but your focus should be on the success of others. Once this is truly your focus, you will notice wonderful things starting to happen inadvertently in your own circumstances.

Wouldn’t you agree that knowing how to motivate someone would be a useful skill to possess? Well I wonder if you are aware how many different style of persuasion or motivation that a person can actually possess. In NLP, they are called Meta-Programmes or Preferences. Not only do these characteristics determine how best you are motivated, but they also reveal where you focus your attention and how you learn most effectively too. I remember back to when I learned about these ideas and how they instantly improved not just my communication, but also my effectiveness in persuasion. In fact, I now teach many of these skills to sales people and managers whose jobs involve influencing people to do certain things, not against their will, but in alignment with their values. By understanding how to motivate people to take action, you can be far more effective. Let me give you and idea of some of the basic meta-programmes before I go on to cover one in more detail. Other similar articles can be found under the MetaProgramme category. For example, you probably know someone who is always positive and upbeat, and at the same time you may have a friend who always seems to point out what is wrong in a situation. This particular programme is known as TOWARDS – AWAY. Neither is right or wrong, its just different ways of perceiving the world around you. Perhaps someone in your family is very highly opinionated, and rarely listens to ideas or suggestions from others. In the same family, there may be someone else who tends to go with the flow and be happy to do what everyone else is doing. INTERNAL – EXTERNAL gives you an idea of where people get their feedback. This will be covered in more detail very soon. Today, I want to open your eyes to different ways that people process information. Studies have shown that during any given second, we are being bombarded with between 2 million and 40 million bits of information (I am not sure who counts them all but they must be able to add up very quickly!). Clearly we cannot process all of these, so to help us out our brain deletes most of this and leaves us with what it thinks is most important. For example, you are surely aware of the image of this text in front of you. There may even be a few sounds going on in the background, and no doubt you are conscious of the ambient temperature. However, you probably temporarily deleted (until I now remind you) of any images you can see in your peripheral vision, any sounds that are constantly in the background like traffic or a computer, and you have probably forgotten that you can feel the fabric of your clothes against your skin. Until they are brought to your attention, your brain stores this information somewhere else as your conscious mind focuses on what in deems relevant in the moment. Remember, these preferences are not right or wrong, they simply are. In this instance, we are finding out about whether a person prefers VISUAL. AUDITORY or KINESTHETIC information. We all are able to do all three; our brains however often favour one or two styles of information. Information that falls into one of our least favoured preference is often then discarded. I often get people who tell me that they “cannot visualise“, and so I ask them how they recognise which house they live in. Clearly they will not go up and try out the doorbell or feel each handle before they find their house. Likewise, people who have a weaker auditory system can still recognise sounds, otherwise how would you ever recognise your mobile phone ringing or someone you know calling your name. So why is this important? Well, this is being widely used in teaching now as a way to ensure that someone’s primary learning style (V, A or K) is being covered in a classroom environment to ensure that everyone can take in the information. Salespeople who can recognise a preference can then adapt their presentations to include more VISUAL aspects, perhaps use music to appeal to AUDITORY or to emphasise theKINESTHETIC qualities of their product. Parents can use it to encourage rounded development of a baby’s senses. Recognise that we are not all “wired” the same way. Communication flexibility is vital to be effective in any relationship, either personal or professional, and so every effort should be made to understand another person’s preferences and then to adapt yourself accordingly. I will write a lot more on this subject over the next couple of weeks, but if you have any specific questions, please leave a comment and I’ll address them very soon! Hopefully this has opened your eyes to what is possible when looking at communication flexibility. I don’t want to scare you right now so I will leave out the fact that there are well over 60 different types of meta-programme, each affecting a persons focus and language patterns. Oops, I forgot you can’t process a negative, can you!

Money is an issue for everyone. Unfortunately, most people find themselves in a situation where they have more month at the end of the money than money at the end of the month! Maybe you find yourself connecting with this thought; I know I did in the past. Why is it do you think that most people, in fact 95% of the population, will reach retirement age and be broke, relying on the government for some sort of pension or welfare payment? Well, let me ask you: where do we get our financial education? Typically, the only thing we get taught about money is how to spend it on things we don’t need, and we learn this message every day when we see advertising commercials and credit card ads which suggest easy repayments and low interest rates. We get loans for cars and mortgages for houses, and then we consolidate everything into a home equity loan before we repeat the cycle! Before long, we discover that we are working ourselves into the ground just to make the interest payments, let alone repay the balances!

Surely this isn’t what life is supposed to be about? Well there is another way. It is possible to live a life where you have enough money to take care of all your needs as well as provide you with extra with which you can enjoy the finer things. Unfortunately, many people are so far down the slippery credit and loan path that this seems like a distant dream. They begin to lose touch on what is important and settle for a job that they don’t truly enjoy. Remember this key phrase:

You should always increase your income to meet your goals, rather than lower your goals to meet your income!

So what do most people do when they need more money? They either work longer hours or take a secondJOB. Why is that word in capitals? Well it is actually an acronym, rather than a word, and it stand for Just Over Broke! People with jobs are usually less than 3 months away from being broke if they stopped working. Think about it, if you lost your 1 stream of income today, how long could you survive whilst maintaining your current lifestyle? For some of you that is a scary realisation!

So what is the answer? Two words… PASSIVE INCOME! I was introduced to this term only a couple of years ago and it blew my mind; the idea of getting paid but not having to work for it! If you haven’t done already, you need to read Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad book, which clearly explains the different forms of passive income. Maybe you could have a business, a network marketing company, some positive Cashflow property or some dividend paying paper assets. Whatever your vehicle of choice, its something you should start today!

The problem with most of these options however is that wealth is accumulated exponentially! What does that mean? Well, in short it means that in the early stages, it can mean quite a bit of work with minimal results! This is enough to cause people to quit and give up. However, the beautiful thing about exponential results is that, after the critical mass point, your wealth will increase than any linear compensation model such as a wage or salary. The magic is that after a while, you can be earning as much with your part time business as you are with your full time job! The challenge therefore, is how do you stay with something long enough for it to generate the cash you require?

2 things to remember here! Firstly, get in touch with your WHY. What is your motivation for that extra money? Is it to provide a better life for you and your family? Is it to avoid the pain of falling short on your mortgage payments month after month? Is it because you are fed up with saying “I can’t afford that“? Whatever your reason, it needs to be clear and compelling enough to keep you taking action.

The second thing is COMMIFTMENT. Some of you are looking at that carefully and thinking “there is no ‘F’ in commitment!“ and you are absolutely right! For most people, they just give up, they are not committed enough to making it happen. You have to be prepared to work through the slow growth phase to get the results that the exponential section offers. Promise yourself that you will stay with whatever you have chosen long enough for it to pay you. Don’t just jump over to another plan and get involved in the same process again. This is the trap that most people fall into, and they only ever find themselves in the beginning of something as opposed to the part that really gets the results.

Your challenge today is to discover a method of increasing your income either as a business owner or investor. Choose something that you enjoy and then commit to make it work at it until it works for you! There are even a few ideas in my links that may be able to provide you with exactly what you are looking for!

I was lucky enough to come into contact with Martin today! Martin is the kind of guy that inspires you to become more; that makes you believe that things are possible; that reinforces the belief in the potential of every human being! Martin works in a call centre!Excellence is a decision. Excellence is inspirational, whatever its context! Successful people are all excellent, and at some point; they made a decision that they were going to be outstanding at what they had chosen to do. Excellence is in action all around you if you are fortunate enough to notice it!

If you think about words like “outstanding” and “exceptional“, they imply that you have to be different to others. This is what makes you successful. Most people settle for “average“, and are educated to become so by society. It is vital to break this conditioning, to rise up above it and become what you are meant to be!

Although I’m not a religious person, I remember in the bible the Parable of the Talents. In brief, three servants were given Talents (pieces of silver) whilst the master was away; one given 5, the second given 2 and the third only given 1. When the master returned, the first two servants had both doubled their master’s money, whereas the third had hidden his 1 talent away so as not to lose it. The master scorned him and gave his 1 to the first servant who already had 10.

“For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have abundance.  Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.”

In the bible, the ‘talents’ referred to money, but I believe we are all given talents, we are endowed with a flair for something. It is our duty to discover this and use it to the best of our ability before it is taken from us or we lose it.

My challenge to you today is to Find your Talent, the characteristic at which you are truly excellent! For Martin, it is his considerate nature, excellent personal skills, and the personal pride he takes in helping others to overcome their issues. Apparently he made the Top 6 out of all of the call centre operators in the world (and this is a BIG company!). All I can say is that either he was robbed, or the other people must be truly outstanding.

I challenge you to become outstanding and inspire others to do the same! Let your passion and enthusiasm for what you do infect people with an energy that moves with them and through everyone that they encounter. You have the ability to change the world by your very actions. Be a success in your chosen field and develop that success every day!

Thanks once again Martin!

Brian Tracy puts it like this:

If the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long!

Instantly, my mind switches to “I’m a Celebrity, Get me out of here!” and those Witchetty Grubs. How can you bring yourself to eat one of those? Apparently, you can feel them wriggling through you even after you have swallowed! The only way to eat one is to not even look, and then just take one big bite, and hope you can hold it down!

But what do most people do when they have a frog or grub to eat? They sit there and look at it for a long time! They ask themselves questions like “I wonder how it tastes?” and “What if I don’t like it?“. Suddenly, this frog or grub becomes bigger, or slimier or even more wriggly and the person puts off eating it for another minute or hour or day! How long before it gets too big to eat???

The question for today is… WHAT IS YOUR FROG? I ask this to people all the time, and the answers I get vary drastically! However, what remains the same is the cause of procrastination… and the cause is alwaysFEAR! False Evidence Appearing Real! Sometimes, we don’t even really know what is going to happen, so we dream up possible circumstances and then embellish them more and more until we get so scared that we don’t follow through.

I remember one day I was due to give blood, as I had done a few times before. This time though, my mind wandered onto the thought of the needle as it entered my arm, the warmth of the room causing me to sweat, the sight of other people (not me of course!) turning pale and fainting at the sight of blood. Suddenly, I had no motivation to give blood, and this time not even the free biscuits could tempt me to change my mind! This was crazy, as I had given blood before (and have done since in case you were wondering!) so I knew that it really wasn’t as bad as I was imagining, but that didn’t matter!

Isn’t it amazing how creative and believable your imagination can be! Most people allow it to run away and focus on the negative ramifications of a scenario, and the mind is great at zooming in and blowing those parts completely out of context. Want further proof??? Have you ever woken up at night after a nightmare, sweating, heart pounding, terrified! Even your body believes your mind, it can be that convincing!

I do a lot of work with sales people, many of whom share a fear of cold calling. It’s understandable, having never spoken to this person, who is probably busy, doesn’t want to speak to me, and anyway I’ll probably mess up, then they will laugh, and what if they don’t like what I have to offer, or what if I say the wrong thing, orwhat if… what if… what if… it could go on! Now sales is a contact sport – the more contacts you make, the more you sell! Is a fear of cold calling useful? I highly doubt it. It wastes a sales person valuable time each time they pause even just a few seconds before they make a call. One girl, who had no fear whatsoever, told me her secret:

What’s the worst that can happen? He can’t fire me and can’t make me pregnant!

She simply put the “What If’s” into context. Shakespeare once said:

A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero only one!

My advice is that you know the thing you have been putting off really isn’t that bad, and if you are honest with yourself, the potential negative outcomes are not as terrifying as they seem! If you chose to focus on the positive “What If’s” instead, I am sure you wouldn’t have any trouble getting motivated, and I doubt anything would hold you back. I’m sure you don’t procrastinate to open your Christmas presents do you?!

So be honest with yourself; what is the thing you have been procrastinating on the most? What action can you take immediately to help build the momentum needed to see it through to the start, or is it something you just need to get on and do? Whatever the situation, one thing is required:

IMMEDIATE MASSIVE ACTION!

Take action today to overcome the paralysis of analysis and notice how results grow exponentially in any area you apply this principle! Whether you have been putting off a matter that it personal, to do with a relationship, your health, your wealth… go and do it… NOW!

There were definitely some classes at school where staying awake was just as challenging as the homework. Why some of these subjects were important still remains a mystery to me! Surely our time could have been INVESTED better in other educational areas? Here are a few of the areas that I think should be learned from an early age, and which we will certainly be covering at this site. They have the potential to make a huge impact on people’s success in every area of life, and so I wonder how long it will be before we see GCSE’s in the following areas:

1.   Selling – Everyone needs to be a great sales person. We are constantly selling; products, ideas, ourselves. Sales create the income for EVERY business. Surely this comes higher in importance than calculus and trigonometry? When asked how to be more successful, even Robert Kiyosaki (www.richdad.com) advised an aspiring author to learn how to sell. Why? Because she wanted to be a best selling author! Read those words again… Best… SELLING… Author. Learn how to sell effectively and you can be successful in any field. There are many courses and books out there, just check out some of the reading recommendations for ideas on how to influence people more elegantly and effectively!

2.   Finance – Here is a simple formula for wealth: Spend less than you earn and invest the difference! Despite this, the majority of people I talk to have more month left at the end of the money than money at the end of the month. Very few people have been taught any sound financial information and now we are seeing debt crises everywhere! A rarely known fact is DEBT CAN MAKE YOU RICH… if you use it FOR you rather than against you. You should develop a plan to turn earned income into passive income, (and if you haven’t heard that term before then you need to discover it NOW!) and aim to get to a point where your investments are generating enough income for you to leave your J.O.B.. If you are unsure how, find someone to help you but do it yesterday if possible! If you want to save money, check out Martin Lewis at www.moneysavingexpert.com .

3.   Relationships – How do you interact with the opposite sex? Take the time to learn about the female species or the male species, and particularly their differences. Anyone looking for success in an intimate relationship needs to read for a start Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (www.marsvenus.com) by John Gray. Most men do not even know that there are 4 words that will make a woman weak at the knees (will be covered in an upcoming post!). Spend time learning how to be closer with your partner to vastly improve the quality of life, you will ultimately be spending a lot of time with this person, so you may as well make it bearable at the very least, and ideally hugely enjoyable!

If you do have any ideas on resources available for any of these areas, please do leave a comment below or add the books to our reading list page.