Ever do life coaching in front of a mirror?

Any coaches out there will know what I mean. You start going through some stuff in life and then you get a new client. The two of you get chatting and then all of a sudden, you discover that they are going through exactly what you are going through.

I was recently coaching someone when I realised this, or should I say remembered it. I actually laughed to myself and literally said to that person “I’m going to have a little chat with myself right now. Feel free to listen in!”

You see, when we need to understand something in life, the universe doesn’t just give you the skills, as otherwise there would be no challenge and no reason to grow and develop. Rather, it gives us situations where we are able to practice those skills.

For example, if you know you need to be more patient in your life, it will keep putting you in traffic jams. Should you need to learn to relax more, it will give you more people that try and make you angry.

There is a great bit in the book Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman where Socrates is rude to some spiritual people and polite to an angry person. When asked why, Socrates tells Dan that he gave them what they needed at that time in their lives.

What lessons are you being taught right now? Maybe you aren’t a coach, and so may not have people reflecting back to you what you need to understand. However, I can pretty much guarantee that you have ‘stuff’ (technical term!)` going on around you, and it is that ‘stuff’ which is there to teach you the things you need to learn in order to get to the next level in your life and personal evolution.

Sometimes, and you may be there right now, the lessons seem to be coming from all angles at all times. You may feel overwhelmed. Believe it or not, this too is yet another lesson. Where else in your life do you need to be able to balance things more effectively? Where else may you need to learn to say no?

Stop for a moment right now and think, unemotionally, about everything that is going on around you right now. Make a list of each of them, and then besides that, write out what you think it is there to teach you. The universe is always giving you the exact learnings you need and at the right time, so work out what it is you need to take away from this time in your life. Now you know what you are there to learn, don’t fight against it, but instead be curious as to how you can learn  quickly and effectively (and hopefully painlessly!) from this situation which has given you the chance to become even more of yourself.

Now, look at your past and recent actions. Notice how they have served you, and how some of them may not. Decide what you need to do differently from now. You will need to change your behaviours in order to get through this. Like a fly trying to escape through a window, you can try and bash yourself through, but the chances are that you will just end up tiring yourself out and giving yourself a headache. Instead, look for an open window, and if there isn’t one, maybe there is someone around you who can open one for you… if only you would ask them?!?!

When you get good at dealing with your current level of ‘stuff’, the universe will upgrade you to a different level of ‘stuff’. However, now you have the skills to deal with it, so the challenge will be different. The good thing about this is where there is adversity, there is also reward.

Wherever you are right now is exactly where you are meant to be. Learn from it. Grow with it. Ask for help if necessary. You will come through the other side a stronger, more complete person. You only have obstacles if you are going somewhere, and you know the place you are going. Enjoy the journey, live in the moment and when you notice this happening again, its ok to laugh!

Success Quotes

The quality of a man’s life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
Vince Lombardi

Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.
Napoleon Bonaparte

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.
Aristotle

Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel
Napoleon Hill

If you are going through Hell, keep going!
Winston Churchill

Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you
Denis Waitley

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.
Vince Lombardi

The significance of a man is not in what he attains but in what he longs to attain.
Kahlil Gibran

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs
Henry Ford

Excellence is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends
Brian Tracy

7 Rules of Mental Conditioning

Today I completed my first 100 length swim in training for my Channel Swim challenge for next year! Now whilst 100 lengths may not get me anywhere near to the French coastline, it was certainly a significant step for me, both physically and psychologically.

 

I can remember getting to 72 lengths, which would still have been quite a significant training session, and thinking to myself that would be enough. No one would have said anything if I had stopped at that point. In fact, they probably would have applauded me for getting so far.

 

You see, other people can never set standards high enough for you… this is a task that only you can be responsible for. You role in life should be to constantly raise the bar for yourself, to set your sights higher each day, and then to take action in pursuit of your goals.

 

However, every such decision you make fortifies your muscles of persistence and will, making you stronger and better equipped to take on such challenges in the future. Having studied human physiology for so long, I can see so many crossovers between the body and the mind. We often take it for granted that our body needs conditioning to make a difference, and we understand that one trip to the gym or to the pool is not going to undo the years of abuse it has received.

 

Well exactly the same is required to train your mind. Although it clearly isn’t a muscle, you need to treat mental conditioning the same as you would as preparing to compete in the Olympics. Here is a list of the top 7 factors to consider when doing mental training.

 

1 – Get a coach. All top athletes have someone to guide and direct their training, someone who can push them harder in tough times and to give them perspective when necessary. A good life coach is essential to success in mental conditioning.

2 – Join a Club. Rarely do athletes train alone. Even athletes who train for individual events tend to join forces with like-minded others to help push and encourage one another, and to add a healthy element of competition. Your close network will determine a large amount of your individual success.

3 – Strengthening Work. You need to be challenging yourself every day to allow yourself to rise up. Spend time learning from the greats, read the classic self help and personal development books that have stood the test of time. Learn these in depth, pushing yourself hard to extract every last possible learning like you would to get one more repetition when lifting weights.

4 – Flexibility. Being agile allows you to compete in so many different areas of life, likewise with mental flexibility. The Law of Requisite Variety tells us that the person with the greatest degree of flexibility in any given situation will control that situation. Develop mental flexibility by delving into all sorts of subjects; science and religion, fiction and fact.

5 – Nutrition and Fuel. The computing acronym GIGO (garbage in garbage out) applies to the mind and body as well as to your laptop. Nourish your mind rather than feeding it mental candy to ensure that it supports you along your journey. Make sure you are filling it with material.

6 – Rest and Recovery. Our minds can easily get stuck in a rut, and rather than stopping altogether, a change is just as good. Find ways to access the other areas of your mind, particularly the creative and artistic faculties. This will help make you a more rounded person and avoid the tendency to burn out.

7 – Celebrate Victories. Remember to recognise your successes along the way. Just like an athlete would celebrate each individual victory on their way to the Olympics, whilst simultaneously keeping one eye on the greater goal. Enjoy the journey!